Her eyes had deep, dark circles. She told me, “I haven’t slept in weeks.” I asked her why. She told me that was because she “was all stressed out.” It was stress from her job and stress from her kids. She was stressed out from driving an hour each way to work and her boss was “driving her crazy.” You could see that her stress was eating her alive.

People come to me all the time with similar stories, of how stress is negatively affecting their lives. Stress is a killer. It has been linked to everything from headaches and digestive problems to reproductive ailments and even heart disease. Stress has been shown to age us both mentally and physically and over time can kill us.

When you are stressed your body releases stress hormones. These hormones can cause inflammation to your cardiovascular system and, if left unchecked, can affect your immune system, metabolism and other body systems. Bruce McEwen, PhD head of the neuroendocrinology lab at Rockefeller University says, “Normally, in small amounts, these substances help the body adapt, but when they are chronically elevated they cause wear and tear.”

Let’s look at the categories of stress. The first type is acute or short term stress. This is known as the flight or fight reaction where the brain produces chemicals that tell the body to speed up, making it perform more effectively. This is the type of stress you’ll experience when another car pulls out in front of you causing you to hit your brakes suddenly. This is also known as distress.

The positive form of acute stress is known as eustress. This is the stress you experience when you receive a promotion at work, get married or buy a new house. These events are desirable but, just like distress, eustress can be equally taxing on the body, and if added together with other stressors can have negative results on our health.

The second type of stress is chronic or long-term stress. Although it can be triggered by the same type of stressors as acute stress, this type of stress can cause physical problems. Chronic stress occurs when we can’t, or won’t, let go of stress.

So how can we reduce our stress? Here are seven ways to cope with stress.

1. Recognize Some Stress is Good Some stress is good. The stress an athlete feels right before she bursts off the starting blocks. The stress you feel to make a deadline that will get you that promotion you’ve been wanting. The energy you get when you see an old friend or a lover. This stress gives you that burst of energy that enhances your performance at just the right moment. Used wisely, this kind of stress will allow you to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most. Make stress your friend!

2. Avoid Stress Infected Individuals Overly stressed people are infected with stress germs and they spread them around indiscriminately. Soon, before you know it, you are infected too!

If you know that Charlie is always stressed at the first of the month when his reports are due, avoid him! If Sara is constantly complaining about how busy she is and how her kids are driving her crazy, avoid her! Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you’ve got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.

3. Model Calm People Modeling is a way of making yourself into the type of person you want to be. So model calm people, people who seem to naturally handle stress well. When people around you are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What are they saying to others? What are they saying to themselves? Have they been trained in stress management? What experiences have they had? You might watch them or, better yet, sit them down and talk with them. Ask them how they cope with the things that seem to stress everyone else out. Learn from the best and model what they do.

Filed under: Health Care